A Lifetime of Love
by
Pink-Green-White-4ever
AN: Done in response to the Ars Amatoria’s Ranger Romance Themes Challenge. Yes, I know that the Theme Challenge BloomingViolets and I started isn’t finished, but I got some great ideas for these two so I’m going to try my hand at a solo set of challenges, only this uses all 60 of the challenges, both sets 1 and 2.
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, wish I did.
Rating: The whole series ranges from T to MA.
PAGE ONE: Let Me Tell You A Story - Impression - Perception - Dare - Match - Yield
- Triumph - Why - Patience - Friends
PAGE TWO: Routine - Color - Reaction - Time - Secrets - Smile - Game -
Closer - Denial - One Moment
PAGE THREE: Power - Duty - Darkness - Green Eyed Monster - Wish - Lost -
Mirror - Worst Case Scenario - Spellbound - Guilt
PAGE FOUR: Scars - Truth - Confidence - Quest - Fight - What If -
Sacrifice - Distraction - Beautiful - Dawn
PAGE FIVE: Test - Pride - Dream - Change - Chance - Another Step - Knight - Helm - Moonlight - Simplicity
PAGE SIX: The Call - History - Competition - Dependence - Song
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Challenge: The Call
Summary: It’s the call Sky never wanted to get
AN: Set after New Years, and I’m issuing a tissue warning.
Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange
But I can't watch you walk away
Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?
And all about the good times that we've been through
Could I wake up without you every day?
Would I let you walk away?
No, I can't learn to live without
And I can't give up on us now
Oh, I know I could say were through
And tell myself I'm over you
But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now
And try to hide the truth inside
I fell cause I, I just can't live a lie
Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe
The way you know just what I mean
-- Carrie Underwood, I Just Can’t Live A Lie --
--
“Dinner? Check. Candles? Check. Music? Check,” Sky ticked off his list, making sure everything was ready for when Sydney came home from work.
They’d been so busy the last couple of weeks because of the holidays and work, that they’d only seen each other in passing, when they went to bed at night and when they got up in the morning. He wanted this, their first night off together, to be a nice, quiet evening at home.
While dinner simmered on the stove, Sky headed into their room to take a shower and get dressed. He never heard the chiming of his morpher over the patter of the water in the shower.
--
Sky looked at the clock and frowned. Sydney was more than two hours late and she hadn’t called to let him know, and it was starting to worry him. She always called when she was going to be late, so it wasn’t like her not to. Shaking his head, he went into the living room just as his morpher sounded.
“Tate here.”
“Sky, get to the Academy!” Z’s terrified voice sounded.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s Bridge and Syd!”
Sky didn’t respond, he simply ran and grabbed his keys before rushing out to his car and speeding toward the academy.
--
When he got to the medical wing, Sky found Z in a chair, knees pulled to her chest, rocking back and forth. Her uniform was bloody and ripped all over. “Z?”
She looked up at him, the sadness in her eyes overwhelming. “Sky.”
“What happened?”
“I tried calling you before,” she whispered. “You didn’t answer.”
“I was in the shower. What happened?” he demanded, this time more forcibly.
Z looked ready to cry, which was scaring him even more. “Kat sent Syd and two C Squad cadets to check out a robbery in progress. Bridge and I were across town. Syd said she had it handled, but Bridge wanted to back her up. I came back here to file our reports, figuring they had it handled, and the next thing I know, Bridge is requesting medical assistance. By the time I got there, I found out what happened.”
Sky’s face was suddenly pale and his body was vibrating. “Z?”
“Armed robbery. Both the C Squad cadets are dead and when we got Bridge and Syd back here, they were critical.”
The Red Ranger sunk down on the chair next to her, pulling her into his arms as they shared their grief and worry.
--
“Kat?” Z whispered when the feline scientist emerged from the emergency room doors. For the first time in a long time, Kat looked weary and tired.
She stopped in front of the Rangers and sighed. “Bridge is stable. He took a bullet to the shoulder and one to the left thigh. Dr. Felix is having him moved to his own room once he’s awake.”
Sky swallowed, feeling relief for Bridge’s condition and apprehension over Syd’s. “What about Syd?”
Both Rangers gasped when they saw Kat’s eyes fill. “Kat?” Z uttered.
“She’s still critical. Dr. Felix isn’t sure she’s going to make it.”
Z’s eyes snapped to Sky’s face, watching the shock filter across him before his legs gave out and he sunk to the floor. The Yellow Ranger sunk down next to him while Kat hurried to get Cruger, Sky’s quiet sobs echoing down the hall behind her.
--
The room was dark when Z wheeled Bridge in. The only light came from the window where the moon shone brightly. The only sound was the steady beeps from the machines telling them that Sydney was still alive. Z moved Bridge as close to the bed as she could before she moved over to tuck the blanket tighter around Sky, who slept in a chair on the other side of Syd’s bed.
“I always figured this would happen as Rangers against Gruumm,” Bridge whispered. “Not while on patrol in the city.”
Z nodded. “I always figured it would be me, Sky or Jack, not you or Syd.”
“Sky’s blaming himself.” Bridge uttered it so confidently that Z knew she didn’t have to tell him what she’d seen from the Red Ranger in the days following the robbery. In the four days since, Z knew the Red Ranger had gone through every emotion he was capable of and then some.
“It’s not his fault, and he knows that, but you know how much her loves her.”
Bridge just nodded. “Z, do you think she’ll survive?”
The Yellow Ranger gazed at her friend who was so still and pale in the hospital bed. “God, I hope so.”
--
The first thing that registered was the searing pain. The second thing was she couldn’t talk or move her body much. Panic welled before she opened her eyes to the familiar sight of Sky sleeping. She knew she was in the hospital, because she remembered being shot and then being loaded into the ambulance. That had been her last clear memory before now.
“Welcome back, Sydney,” Dr. Felix’s soothing voice intruded on her thoughts. “Don’t panic, Sydney. The meds we have you on have paralyzed your muscles. I’m going to go get a nurse and we’ll see about getting that tube out of your throat.”
Syd blinked in understanding and watched him hurry out. Turning her head as much as she could, she took in Sky’s pale, unshaven face. The dark circles under his eyes and the hallowed out cheeks broke her heart. Even as the tears spilled down her cheeks, she saw him beginning to stir. When his eyes opened, she watched him focus on her face. “Syd?” he gasped softly.
She blinked at him, watching his own eyes fill with tears. Her heart broke all over again as he shakily sat up and leaned over her bed, resting his forehead against hers. “Sydney,” he whispered, his voice breaking at the end of her name.
“Mr. Tate, I’m going to have to ask you to step outside,” Dr. Felix announced as he and a nurse entered.
Sky wanted to protest but didn’t; the sooner the doctor got to work the sooner Syd’s tubes would come out. “I’ll be back in a bit, Baby. I’m going to go call Z and Bridge.”
Sydney blinked at him but felt lonely when he kissed her cheek and headed out.
--
The minute the door opened, her eyes popped open and took in her visitors. Z was wheeling Bridge in, with Kat, Anubis, Isinia, Boom and Sky right behind them. “Hi,” she whispered in greeting, her throat still raw.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Z teased before she leaned over and gave her friend a hug.
Syd nodded and looked over at Bridge. “Bridgey, how are you feeling?”
He smiled. “Better. You’ve heard about the others?”
Syd nodded again and blinked back tears. She’d still been unconscious when the two members of C Squad had been buried. “Yeah, I did.”
The others sensed the tension between Syd and Sky when Sky moved to stand by the window instead of near Syd’s bed. Z all but growled when Sydney’s eyes stared at the Red Ranger’s back and filled with more tears before she bowed her head.
“Dr. Felix says you can go home in a few more days,” Kat announced. “Thanks to your advanced Ranger healing abilities, you’re out of danger.”
Syd could only stare at her hands, not wanting them to see how much his distance was killing her inside. “How soon before I’m back on duty?”
“Two weeks, on light duty,” Anubis told her. All of them were shocked when Sky stiffly strode from the room without a word.
--
Sydney gingerly hobbled around the apartment while Sky carried her bag into their bedroom. In the few days since she’d woken up, he’d been cranky, rude, and distant. He hadn’t kissed her since she’d initially woken up; he hadn’t touched her, nothing. The Pink Ranger was beginning to feel more and more like her boyfriend wanted nothing to do with her.
“Can we talk?” Syd asked when he reentered their living room.
Sky stood in the entry, leaning against the wall. “What?”
Having finally had enough, the petite blonde glared at him. “Mind telling me why I’m getting the cold shoulder?” she demanded to know.
The Red Ranger continued to stare at her, arms still folded over his chest. “Look, I don’t know about the others, but I don’t think you should go back to duty just yet.”
“Sky, that’s not an excuse for you treating me like an incurable disease,” she pointed out.
He stared at her for a full three minutes before he said what was really on his mind. “I don’t want you going back on patrol.”
“Not possible, considering I’m a Ranger,” she told him.
“Which is why I’ve asked Cruger to find a new Pink Ranger.”
Syd’s jaw dropped at that announcement. “You can’t do that! I earned my spot!”
“I won’t stand back and watch you get yourself killed!” Sky exploded at her.
Shaking her head, Syd bit back the tears, knowing now was not the time to cry. “You’re a hypocrite,” she whispered angrily. “All the times you’ve been in that uniform and you’ve done something completely asinine, and you’re standing there bitching at me? Who let Gruumm get all those diamonds, who let Dru into the academy where he almost killed Cruger, and who let Mirloc loose?” she raised her voice with each word. She didn’t care that his face paled at the accusations. “Don’t you dare stand there and bitch at me! I was doing my job!”
“You could have died!” he yelled back.
“I could drop dead in five minutes! I could cross the fucking street and get hit by a damn truck!” she shot back. “Does that mean you’re going to baby-sit me twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year?”
“Sydney…”
“Don’t you Sydney me! Leave me the hell alone if you can’t respect me!” she screamed at him.
Finally having had enough, Sky moved to the coffee table, grabbed his keys, and stormed out of the apartment. The last sound he heard was Syd’s muffled sobs.
Challenge: History
Summary: When you don’t nurture a plant, it withers and dies. The same
can be said about relationships…
AN: Ah, yes, the one that made me cry to write. Please don’t send
me any nasty emails, I promise this isn’t permanent! Set three months post The
Call, so think about mid April.
One more kiss could be the best thing
One more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you’re not something I deserve
In my head there’s only you now
This world falls on me
In this world, there’s real and make-believe
This seems real to me
You love me but you don’t know who I am
I’m tore in between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you don’t know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing?
I now know where I’m going through
In my head there’s only you now
This world falls on me
In this world, there’s real and make-believe
This seems real to me…
…And no matter how hard I try
I can’t escape these things inside
I know, I know
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows
-- 3 Doors Down, Let Me Go --
--
“That’s the last box,” Z murmured as she walked back into the bedroom.
Syd stood in the neatly made room, taking a last look at the rooms he’d once shared with Sky. In the three months since she had been injured, their relationship had completely fallen apart. Sky had taken more and more assignments that kept him away from home, they barely spoke, and Syd had finally gotten to the point that she felt she couldn’t fight anymore when he obviously didn’t care. Being patient was not an option. She felt that he didn’t respect her enough, and she’d honestly gotten to the point where she was tired of feeling resentful toward him because of his opinion on her being not only a Ranger but working at SPD.
“Let’s go. I want to be gone before he gets back.”
Z just nodded, even if she didn’t agree. Bridge and Sky were at a conference at SPD Headquarters and Syd had decided that now was the perfect time to take the initiative and move out. She’d already secretly submitted her resignation from the Ranger program to Cruger; she’d be the second member of B Squad to leave. Z knew that Sky was going to be pissed off and hurt, but she wasn’t about to bring that up to the already hurting Sydney. The Yellow Ranger understood that the two had refused to work out what was happening between them.
Quietly, the soon to be former Pink Ranger took her keys off her key ring and gave them to Z before she turned and walked out of the apartment, not once looking back.
--
“Hey Z!” Bridge called as he and Sky stepped off the shuttle.
“Welcome back,” Z answered, her body language coming off as tense and tight.
“Where’s Syd?” Sky asked before watching Z’s face contort. He gaped at her when she held out a long, slim envelope and a set of keys. “Z? What is this?”
“You’d better read that.”
Frowning, Sky took the letter from her hand and ripped it open, his eyes scanning the paper inside. Z winced when his face paled and he took off at a dead run from the shuttle bay. “Z?” Bridge asked, his eyes darting between his girlfriend and his best friend’s retreating form.
Z’s face scrunched up as she uttered two words that would change everything, “They’re history.”
--
The front door flew open and hit the wall as Sky stormed through. His eyes took in the living room, and already he saw the minute changes. Pictures were missing from the tables, walls and television stand, the quilt from Syd’s grandmother was gone, and Syd’s shoes were missing. Racing into the bedroom, Sky felt his stomach churn when he saw the closet open and all Syd’s clothes gone. Her alarm clock wasn’t on the bedside table, her make up wasn’t on the dresser, and her things weren’t in the bathroom. Biting his lip, Sky sank down on the bed, his hand still clutching Syd’s letter. “Sydney…” he uttered, his heart feeling as though it were breaking into a million pieces. His stubbornness, anger and utter disrespect for his girlfriend and the job she did had finally driven the one person who mattered most right out of his life.
--
Dear Sky,
By the time you read this, I’ll already be gone. It has to be this way, because with us, it’s always been all or nothing.
I found a new apartment and I’ve given my resignation to SPD. That should sufficiently get me out of your life, though I hate to admit that’s been a done deal since my injury. Look, I don’t blame you, because you weren’t completely at fault. The last few months have been hell, you can’t deny that. We both screwed up; you’re so afraid to lose me that you’ve stopped being the man I love and I’ve stopped being about to put up with the disrespect. I just can’t keep fighting an uphill battle.
I trained the same as you, sacrificed the same as you, and the first sign of me getting hurt, you flipped out. That’s understandable, but you don’t seem to understand that I went through that every time you morphed, every time you put on that uniform and went out on patrol. The few occasions when I voiced my concerns, it was your reassurance that you were okay that calmed me down. I’m sorry my reassurances didn’t have the same effect on you.
Maybe it’s better for us this way, in the long run anyway. I hate to admit it, but maybe, in the beginning, you were right; we shouldn’t be together. I’d like to think, that maybe at some point down the road, we could be friends again, but I’m not holding my breath because I understand that it may be too much to ask for, considering everything we’ve been to each other and all we’ve gone through. Take care of yourself, Schuyler, and please remember, I always have, and always will love you.
All my love,
Always,
Sydney Drew
Challenge: Competition
Summary: Their first post break up meeting shows some things still
haven’t changed while others have.
AN: This one is set 4 months post History, so think late summer.
I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
And I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
But you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around its a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do I'll wait for you
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.
Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough
-- Elliot Yamin, Wait For You --
--
“Sky, seriously, lighten up,” Jack grumbled as the group walked down the street. “You need to find a pretty girl and have fun.”
Z and Bridge winced when Sky’s head jerked in Jack’s direction. Ally smacked the former Red Ranger on the arm. “I have a pretty girl, thank you. I just need to convince her that we’re supposed to be together.”
Jack turned to his friend and saw the look on Sky’s face. “I understand you still love her, but she made the choice to leave you.”
Ally and Z both suddenly looked offended, as they were Syd’s closest female friends. “Need I remind you she left because he was an ass toward her and drove her away?” Z demanded, shooting Sky a look that dared the Red Ranger to deny what she said was true.
Jack made to open his mouth but Ally stopped him. “Say it and you’ll be sleeping on the couch,” she hissed.
“Look, Jack, both Syd and I ruined our relationship. I was so afraid to lose her that I pushed her away and she was too stubborn for her own good,” Sky told him. “Ultimately, it lays on my shoulders though; she got tired of fighting for something she shouldn’t have had to fight for to begin with.”
“Look, let’s forget for one night and have fun,” Z spoke up when she saw the look on Bridge’s face. The Blue Ranger had been utterly quiet; she knew how hard Syd and Sky’s relationship troubles had been on him, the conversation wasn’t helping. The others simply nodded in agreement, catching why she was suddenly changing the subject.
They quietly entered the club they’d picked – one of their favorite night time spots – and almost wished they hadn’t when they got inside. Near the stage where some of the local acts performed, they noticed a loud, excited group and at the center was a familiar head of blonde hair.
“Oh shit,” Z muttered.
“Sky, we can always leave,” Jack told him.
Sky shook his head. “No,” he started. “It’s been four months, its going to be okay. Syd and I were friends once; if nothing else, I want that friendship back before I try to win her back.”
“And if that doesn’t work?” Jack quietly asked.
Sky gazed at the familiar blonde and felt his heart start to ache from wanting her. Life would go on if he couldn’t get her back, but he would simply go through the motions, he wouldn’t live again, not like he did when he was with her. “Then life goes on.”
--
The Rangers had fun while sticking mainly to the area around their table. Z and Ally managed to coerce Sky into dancing with them, but his eyes barely left Sydney. “Go ask her to dance,” Z suggested. When Sky stiffened in shock, Z spun around. The sight that greeted her caused her heart to go out to her friend.
Sydney was being led out onto the dance floor by a very handsome gentleman about Jack’s height with dark hair and green eyes that Z could see all the way across the smoke filled room. “Sky,” she started, only to have him shake his head.
The two of them watched the dark haired mystery man pull Sydney into his arms for a slow dance. Sky’s hands clenched at his side when he saw the guy’s hands latch onto Syd’s butt and squeeze. Z started smiling when Sydney, obviously angry, repositioned his hands to her waist. “Go Syd!” she whispered.
“He’d better keep his hands to himself,” Sky muttered, causing Z to crack up laughing. They continued to watch, both surprised when Syd suddenly stormed away from her dance partner before returning to her table and the group she was with.
“Sky, go ask her to dance.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, go. It’ll give me time to talk Bridge into dancing with me,” she grinned.
Nodding, Sky quietly made his way toward where Syd was sitting, arms crossed over her chest, obviously not enjoying herself while her friends were having fun and her date was dancing with someone else. Taking a deep breath, Sky crept up behind her and extended his hand. “Care to dance?’
“No, thank you,” she muttered, not once looking up.
Knowing her as well as he did, he leaned closer, so that his mouth was near her ear. “The Sydney I know loves to dance,” he murmured for her ears only.
She let out a gasp and swung around in her seat. “Sky?”
Looking at the shock on her face made him hurt. He’d been an idiot, he knew, and he also knew he’d do anything to get her back, to fix what had gone wrong. “Dance with me?” he softly asked, reaching out to her again.
Numbly she nodded and let him take her hand. All talking at her table stopped as he led her out onto the floor just as another slow song started. Without thinking, Sky pulled her close, his arms wrapping around her even as her head found its way onto his shoulder. They danced in slow circles to the song that spoke of love and not knowing what you had until it was gone and how loves takes time to heal a broken heart. Sky closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of her head while Sydney struggled to keep the tears at bay.
“Excuse me, but I’d like to have my date back!” a voice angrily interrupted, causing Syd and Sky to pull apart. Standing next to them was Syd’s original dance partner.
“Donavan,” Syd started, only to have him grab her hand and yank her toward him.
“What the hell are you doing with him when you’re here with me?” he demanded.
“Dancing, as you seemed so intent on dancing with the red head with the big boobs,” Sydney all but snarled. She wasn’t about to take his shit, no matter what.
“Sydney, you are my date and I don’t care for seeing you snuggled with another man,” he warned, his grip tightening on her arm.
Sky’s expression darkened, causing Sydney to get between them. She knew Donavan had no clue who Sky was or what he was capable of, but she did. The look on his face said he was about to commit capital murder and he didn’t care. “Sky, please,” she begged, hoping to ward off what was coming.
Donavan smirked at Sky, who was looking at Sydney in a mixture of confusion, anger and hurt. “You’re seriously going to let him talk to you like that?”
“Sky, stop, please,” she ground out. “Don’t make a scene.”
“Yeah, why don’t you run along, Sky,” Donavan taunted.
Syd rounded on him, fire in her eyes. “Shut up, Donavan, you’re not helping.” Turning back to Sky, Sydney saw disgust in his eyes. “What?”
“I don’t know you anymore,” he whispered. “The Sydney I know would have kicked his ass for that kind of attitude. You really have changed.”
The former Pink Ranger’s eyes lit with fire. “You never understood me, and you never really knew me. Why am I not surprised you’re blaming me. Why don’t you go back to your precious base and polish your damn morpher!”
Sky’s jaw dropped when Sydney spun around and stalked off. “Got you real far, didn’t it?” Donavan smirked.
“I’ve gotten a lot farther with her than you’ll ever hope to,” Sky muttered.
“And yet, you’re the one chasing after her now,” Donavan cracked. “How fitting. I can have her anytime I choose, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Sky looked at the man before he shook his head in disbelief. “You’re pathetic,” he informed him. “Sydney isn’t some prize in a competition to be won, and I already own the one thing you’ll never have.”
“What would that be?”
“Her heart,” Sky honestly told him. “I lost her trust, but I’ll work to get that back. Enjoy her attention while you can.”
Bridge, Z, Jack, and Ally had all heard his words and were surprised when Sky turned and walked away. Z was the only one who noticed Syd had come back and watched Sky walk away, a look on her face that spoke of how she felt – she still loved the Red Ranger.
Challenge: Dependence
Summary: When the one you depend on isn’t there, it hurts…
AN: Set maybe a day or so after Competition, so think the end of August /
beginning of September.
Every time I think about you,
You just drive me crazy
I can't get you off of my mind
Every time I think about
What you done for me baby
I miss you with every sec that goes by
Now that you're gone
I can see that I was wrong
So, What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms
What would it take
To have you here again
Right by my side
Cause I'm missin' you
I'm missin' your smile, your touch
You're everything that drives me wild
Nobody can make me feel the way you do
Without you I'm lost
You're always in my thoughts
So, What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms
Every time I think about you,
You just drive me crazy
I can't get you off of my mind
Every time I think about
What you done for me baby
I miss you with every day that goes by
Now that you're gone
I can see that I was wrong
So, What would it take
To get my baby back into my arms
I know I made some mistakes
In this relationship
I wanna make this thing right
Don't wanna fuss and fight
Don't argue in the night:
There is no way in this world
I can repay you for the pain I brought:
I wanna change this now
And bring you back in my arms
So come back
I won't leave you again
No matter what I do
You're all I seem to think off
Baby, I miss you again
No matter what I do you're all I seem to think of
-- Paula DeAnda, What Would It Take --
--
Sighing, Sky sat down on the couch and tossed his cell phone onto the end table. He’d just gotten a phone call from his mom that had only served to remind him of the other night when he’d run into Sydney and her new boyfriend. Apparently Syd’s mom had called his mom about possibly hearing wedding bells between Syd and Donavan, and had asked when he was going to step up and stop the nonsense and get back together with Sydney.
While he appreciated the gesture, it wasn’t like he and Sydney were together anymore; she’d made that abundantly clear the other night when she’d yelled at him. But still, his heart burned with any thought of her marrying someone else. Any thought that someone else would hold her, kiss her, make a family with her, killed him. He’d never admitted it before, but he needed her like air to breath, food to eat, and the sun to stay warm. He’d come to one conclusion that made him ache – he depended on her and her unwavering love, just like he’d promised to never do after his father had died. Depending on anyone but yourself only got you hurt in the end because it only set you up to get your heart broken.
He had never gotten close to someone so that when he woke up in the morning, he HAD to see their face first thing. He’d never wanted to need, figuratively and literally, anyone else the way he’d needed his father. He hadn’t wanted to miss anyone as much as he had his father. Sydney had thrown the proverbial monkey wrench into his carefully laid plans to remain unattached, and now she was gone.
It had been four months since she’d gone and he still woke up every morning hoping she’d be there and going to sleep every night wishing things were different. The slightest things reminded him of her – pink roses, a walk in the park, the smell of bubble gum, the color pink in general. Cruger was getting set to take over Commander Birdie’s position as head of SPD, and rumor around the academy was that he was next in line to be head of the base. He’d had no one special to come home and share the exciting prospect with. Closing his eyes, he knew exactly how Syd would have looked at the announcement – shocked but happy, and her beloved blue eyes would have filled with love and pride. He missed that; he missed her.
He’d grown to depend on her steady, upbeat presence. He’d learned to depend on having someone in his life he’d thought had understood him or maybe that was the problem in a nutshell. She understood him all too well, which is why she left. They were both to blame, but he knew the majority of the blame lay on his shoulders, he’d shut her out for months and by the time he’d opened up, she was gone.
--
She was curled in a ball in the middle of her bed. Donavan had left hours before, complaining that it was well past time they’d slept together and that she was being childish. She’d told him she wasn’t ready, but she knew the real reason for her desire not to sleep with him – she was subconsciously being true to her heart, being true to Sky, despite their break up.
Sniffling, Syd knew she’d never felt so alone, nor so small. Everything seemed a lot dimmer, and she felt like she was just going through the motions. It hadn’t been like that, not since she’d met Sky. Her heart had come to depend on him to make her happy. She felt like an addict when it came to him. Every glimpse of the Red Ranger she could get only fueled the fire. Bridge, bless his heart, had been kind enough, understanding enough, to provide her with her ex’s patrol schedule, just so she could go out of her way to see him. It was a thin line she walked – seeing but not being seen. She missed him, it was as simple as that.
Mornings were less happy now that she couldn’t see his face; nights were lonelier without being wrapped in his arms, her body curled against his. She knew she’d been the one to leave, but how much worse would it have been if she’d stayed? She knew those last few weeks she’d been on the path to hating them both for what they’d been doing to each other. Knowing that, though, didn’t stop her from missing him.
When she’d danced with him at the club, it had been like old times – and then they’d fought. The only thing was she’d heard what he’d said to Donavan. Sydney had prepared herself for the eventuality of him moving on, she hadn’t been prepared to hear him say he was going to fight to get her back. The worst part was, she wanted to believe, needed to believe, he missed her and loved her enough to do just that. A secret part of her depended on him keeping that indirect promise.
Dear Sky,
Thought I’d forget what today was, didn’t you? *smiles* Not a chance in hell, Handsome. Have a happy twenty-second birthday, may it be a memorable one. The cd is some stuff I recorded recently on a trip to New York; enjoy.
All my love,
Always,
S.D.
TBC.....